Birthday Thoughts

So we've arrived at the end of April and it’s time to close out birthday month.  I don’t know about you, but for me, birthdays always usher in a time of reflection. They serve as a marker of sorts to take a quick pause and honor the prior year.  As I look back, the feeling of gratitude runs through all my reflections of this past year.  

Grateful to live: You know there are some years when I’ll own up to the fact that I went along for the ride, played the spectator role, and just took things as they came.  This was not one of those years.  Rather than playing the role of the passive bystander, I intentionally embraced living. I stretched way beyond my comfort zone, pursued new avenues of growth and development, and attempted new things.  Now mind you, I wasn’t always great at these new things.  Don’t even get me started on rock climbing—but I’m determined to improve at this (and just wait for the update next year)! Throughout these twelve months, I experienced some of life’s greatest highs, greatest lows, and everything in between. Regardless of even the lowest of lows, I don't regret a second of it.  For those who haven’t heard the song “I Lived” by One Republic, drop everything and go listen immediately.  This captures what I mean. I can say I truly LIVED this past year---through all the exultation, the disappointment, the wonder, the discoveries, the bruises, the learning opportunities, and the victories.

Grateful for community:  One thing that humbled me to the core this year was the addition of many whom I now call friend. I know some were only there for a brief portion of the journey, but others I truly believe were brought into my life for the long haul. So very many amazing people intersected with my life over the past trip around the sun, and when I actually take the time to think about it, I get a little emotional.  All of these friends with different stories, different marks of brilliance, different methods by which they impact the world around them, and different ways they have each enriched my life. I am so very humbled and grateful to have crossed such paths with such incredible people!

Grateful to be at peace:  Peace.  I know I know, one word—but what a profound word it is!  For those who are familiar with my story or read my past blog entry—this was not a bi-product I expected this year. But I kid you not, I have felt peace more profoundly this year than any other time in my life.  One might call it the 'peace that passes understanding.' :-) There is something about truth and authenticity that rings so deep and strikes such an honest chord.  It is a peace that centers me on my path, or helps me to “stand my sacred ground” as Brene Brown says.  It is a peace that calms the arguments, illuminates the possible, and silences fear. Talk about powerful!

So there you have it.  Quite a profound year as I think about it.  Thank you to the many of you--new, brief, and lifelong--who have made this past year a significant mark in my journey!

An Invitation to Know Me

Hello Everyone!  Let me start by saying this is a bit long.  So you may just want to grab a cup of coffee and settle in for a bit.

Here’s the short story: As October 11th is National Coming Out Day today, I figured it’s the perfect day to share that I’m gay.

I realize those of you reading that last line are entering my story at different places. Some of you have known this for quite some time.  Others of you haven’t heard this from me, but are not surprised at all--yep, I’ve had my fair share of “finally, you figured it out” comments. :)  And for many of you I know this truth will come as a tremendous shock.  I can appreciate each of these realities, as this has been a 5-6 year process for me personally.  Though I in no way expect you to come to a place of peace with this immediately, I thank you for ‘listening’ to a piece of my story through these written words.

I’ve been asking myself for quite some time—do I really need to come out in some sort of public forum?  I mean the people who are walking close beside me in my day-to-day life have known for quite awhile.  Besides, it’s not like straight people ever have to make a declaration of their sexual orientation (or have even contemplated the question “how do I know I’m straight” for that matter).  But I’ve thought this over for a long time.

Most importantly, rather than hearing this news through the grapevine I’d prefer you hear from me directly.  It is my sincere hope that you would recognize my heart beneath these words.  This wasn't an easy decision; I definitely counted the cost.  But here are a few reasons why the cost would be too great not to share.

Why come out you ask?

To Live My Truth:

As I mentioned—I wrestled with this truth for many years.  I fought it.  It haunted me.  I felt at a place of dissonance for a long time, knowing this was honest, but still unable to accept it.  Over the past several years I've had to embrace some deep soul searching (read wrestling, crying, praying, seeking counsel, more wrestling, insomnia, reading, did I mention wrestling?).  And one fact remained: it.is.still.true.  This isn't going away.

I believe to dare greatly we need to speak our truth, even if our voice shakes.  I am now at a place of peace in sharing this, which in and of itself is an incredible marker in this journey.

To be Authentically Known:

I would rather you know me and choose to part ways for who I am, than for you to like me for who I am not.  Everyone wants to be known at an authentic level.  Everyone desires friends who are willing to hang in with them when they see the good, bad, and ugly—and who respond to it all with a genuine embrace of love.  From my perspective, that is why we are here. That is our calling.  This is the depth of relationship I will fight for.  That is the quality of life I hope you fight for as well.

To Live Courageously:

When I was as kid I LOVED reading Robin Hood, and the Knights of the Round Table stories were right up my alley.  (I know.  Shocker.)  Secretly I always wanted to be a warrior.  Courage, valor, and bravery were always values to which I aspired.  I see now that I am called to a different kind of battle.  Though sexual orientation is only one piece of a whole person, I still recognize that living this truth means many will disagree and will continue to actively express their concern.  I am identifying with a community who is marginalized, who fights daily for equal rights, who is looked down upon by many, and is labeled and disregarded as “sinful” by many.

For those who think this is a choice (or perhaps one made flippantly), I can assure you it’s certainly not one that I would make knowing the difficulties involved.  This is exactly why I think the LGBT folks I’ve met are some of the most courageous people I’ve known.  They have answered the call to value honesty, integrity, and authenticity ABOVE conformity, comfort, and ease.  They’ve chosen to prioritize finding self over fitting in. I have yet to meet a person who shares that the process of coming out was easy.  For most it is wrought with pain, confusion, rejection, and plain ol’ hard work.  I also have yet to meet a person who does not speak of the freedom and peace found on the other side of this process. Sharing this is vulnerable for me; yet I’ve never thought vulnerability was the way of the timid. It is one of the many courageous characteristics of a warrior.

To Serve as a Bridge:

For those who are less familiar with my story, I come from a conservative Christian background.  I was born on the mission field in Africa.  I attended Christian school my entire life, holding two theology degrees, both undergraduate and graduate.  I worked at a church for nearly 7 years, taught Bible studies, led spiritual retreats, and spoke at various events.  I have a foundation of values and beliefs that I am extremely grateful for as well as parents, family, and friends who love me and whom I love dearly.  With that as my world, you can imagine the disorientation I experienced and the reexamination I’ve gone through these past few years.  I’ve asked and re-asked all the big life questions.  I’ve had to listen, and I mean reeeeeeally listen to arrive at some realities.  And there are still many questions that remain as well.

Here’s the thing, no matter what ‘side of this issue’ we find ourselves, I believe we are called to more—to diminish the sides actually.  To live as a bridge so that one day we push humanity forward and maybe just maybe reach the point where no bridge is needed.  Though it may seem easier to fight or walk away, I truly believe that only love will break down some of the walls we collectively face.  It was love—not logic—that broke down my walls. There are some amazing people on either side of this bridge, and I feel privileged to know both shores.  I don’t know exactly how to span the huge chasm between the LGBT community and “the church”, but if I can serve as a bridge in even a small way, I am willing.

To Extend an Invitation:

For those of you who are curious or have questions, I invite you into a dialogue.  And please note that I deliberately chose the world dialogue rather than debate.  Debates don’t change minds, opinions, or hearts.  Debates lead individuals further apart rather than drawing them together.  For the open hearted, curious, grace-filled, lovers of vulnerability—let’s connect.  As Rumi said so eloquently, “Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field.  I will meet you there.”

To Express my Gratitude:

There have been MANY who have played a big role in supporting me throughout this journey thus far.  Many who prayed for me, cried with me, listened for hours, and continued to remind me that it was going to be ok.  Many I’ve watched from afar who have taught me volumes simply by the way they choose to live their lives.  Though “thank you” doesn’t seem powerful enough to express my gratitude, I say these words with the utmost appreciation, honor, and humility. Thank YOU.

So there you have it, my story of discovery in a few words.  Has it been easy? No.  Would I want to re-live the past few years?  Not really.  Is it worth it? Wholeheartedly YES!

Happy National Coming Out Day Everyone.

With love,

Lynn

2014 Week 22: I got nothin'!  

Wow I'll tell you what, I've been inspired this week, but I've been inspired to live, not write about it.  Yes, I've tried several times this week to actually get something written here in this blog.  But today it hit me--if I'm having this much fun soaking in life, perhaps I should release the obligation this week of interrupting that to write it down.

So I'm taking a bye folks.  If you're opposed to this, please feel free to leave a comment regarding what you'd enjoy reading.  Otherwise, I will naturally assume you all are in full support of this decision.  :)

31 weeks left y'all--soak it in!

2014 Week 21: Wise Words from Maya Angelou

This week I'd like to defer the floor to a woman of grace, dignity, and brilliance.  Here are a few of my favorite quotes of Maya Angelou in honor of the light she shone in this world.  Though she is gone, may her words continue to inspire!

• I believe that each of us comes from the creator trailing wisps of glory.

• You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. 

• If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.

• Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.  
  

•  Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
  I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
  But when I start to tell them,
  They think I’m telling lies.
  I say,
  It’s in the reach of my arms
  The span of my hips,
  The stride of my step,
  The curl of my lips.
  I’m a woman
  Phenomenally.
  Phenomenal woman,
  That’s me.

• When you know better, you do better. 

• I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

2014 Week 20: Locking in the Fantastic!

I’ve gotta say, these last few weeks have been phenomenal!  From reconnecting with old friends, to meeting new friends, making some deep self-discoveries, positive political rulings, soccer games to watch, still not missing tv—I mean life is grand!  Now it’s true, there is a chance I have reverse S.A.D (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and I’m just ridiculously happy when the sun is out.  Regardless—I’ll Take It!  So I know I’ve had a few posts related to powering through the low points in life.  I’d love to know from you all—how do you lock in those amazing high points? 

When I asked myself this question, here are a few of the answers that came to mind:

• Share it—There’s no use keeping the joy to yourself, spread the love!  Share a win, pass along praise, point out the sunshine, compliment your neighbor—you get the point.  Just be sure to be sensitive to those who may not be in the reverse SAD spot you are. :)  

• Wear it—have you ever noticed that smiles are contagious?  I paid particular attention to this while jogging in Europe.  I’d play this little game where I’d smile at the people I passed to see who I could get to smile back at me.  My word, the beauty in the smiles I received amazed me!  I really should try that here more often.

• There it—Ok, I know this one is a bit of a stretch, but I’m trying to keep up with the cheesy rhyming theme I somehow cornered myself into here.  As we’ve discussed in the past, an attitude of gratitude goes a long ways in good times as well as bad.  The more intentionally we point out what we’re grateful for, the easier it gets and the more we’ll see.  Keep a gratitude journal, a gratitude log, a mental list—whatever, just do it!  What do I have to be grateful for—there it is!

• Dare it—When life is going swimmingly, I dare it to be even better.  I find myself expecting good things to happen, and looking around in anticipation.  When I do this, the things I may have looked over or dismissed as mundane become glorious!  The smile of a child standing next to you, the waddle of the dog passing you on the street, the incredible flavors in a bite of sushi, the crazy lightning display we had a few days back—all awesome reminders of how beautiful this life is!

Well, I’m out of rhyming words so that’s my list.  What’s yours?  Only 32 weeks left people.  Lock it in!

2014 Week 19: I don't miss it!

Ok, I truly thought that once I cut TV out that I’d be bored....or at very least rely on Netflix.  Let me tell you,  I don’t miss it at all.  IN FACT—I feel like I’ve found so many things to do I’ve been running behind all week!  What can I say, I’ve had space to be inspired, to process, to dream, to hang with friends, to contemplate—it’s been lovely!

Annnnnnd because of that, I don’t really have time to write deep thoughts from Lynn Morrow this week.  Perhaps next week I will have recalibrated to this refreshing new pace. 

Have a great week everyone!  Only 33 to go!

2014 Week 18: Mind the Gap

Although “Keep calm and ____ (insert just about anything here)” is perhaps the most touted Brit phrase these days, the one I’ve been thinking about lately is the ever famous Mind the Gap.

Specifically I’ve been pondering the gap between who I am, and who I want to be.  What resides here in this gap—the things that keep me from being exactly who I was designed to be at my fullest potential?  After some honest introspection here are a few of my answers:

• Distractions—it could be Facebook, reading, television, texting, surfing the web....  None of these are bad in and of themselves, but how often do these keep me from progressing towards bigger goals that matter?  I’ll be the first to admit—for me it’s TV.  (More to come on that later.)

• Perfectionism—how often do I wait for the “perfect” next step, as opposed to a possible next step? Sometimes I get frozen in analysis paralysis as I try to decipher EXACTLY how to move forward. 

• Laziness—who are we kidding, growth and change take work and sometimes I just don’t feel like putting forth the effort.

• Fear—behind every goal worth dreaming lies the fear that it will never be realized.  Sometimes it’s tough to actually take the risk, and move towards that which I desire.

• Discouragement—whereas fear may be based only in imagined failure, discouragement can arise directly from fact.  Perhaps I've tried and failed and tried and failed ad nauseam.   Sometimes getting off the mat is exhausting.

So can you relate to any of these gap dwellers?  I've battled them before, and undoubtedly I will face them again.  I did triumph over one of these this past week, I completely cancelled my tv, no basic channels or anything.  Yep, my biggest distraction yields only a blank screen these days—and to be honest, it’s been lovely. 

So to my gap dwellers I say this: 

• “I’m here to build something for the long term. Anything else is a distraction.” ~Mark Zuckerberg

• “Don’t let perfection get in the way of progress.” ~Tony Bombacino

• “Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.” ~Jules Renard

• "There are always two voices sounding in our ears: the voice of fear and the voice of confidence.  One is the clamor of the senses, the other is the whispering of the higher self.” ~Charles B. Newcomb

• “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly....” ~Theodore Roosevelt  (LOVE that one!)

Sometimes it just takes one step and this week I took one!  #Winning!  

34 Weeks left to Mind the Gap!